Friday 17 September 2010

Rolling Hills and the Buddery Stare...

On this ground once stood Cornelius Hump, Esq


June 15th, 1761...
Woke with the crowing of the cock and, obligingly, mayde was on hand to help me rise. I breakfasted on a collop of bacon and resolved to take an early morning constitutional up to Mousehold heath. Walking beyond Magdalen gate, some way on I found a poor distressed soul; a fellow Antiquarian, standing quite still and staring fixedly. I instantly recognised him as that young upstart, Phileas Acorne. 

At the Society meeting the night before I had observed him engaged in a heated exchange with Mr. Buddery, the noted wall fancier. Although their words were hard to discern, it seemed to me that Acorne was arguing that divination of historical details through the tasting of mortar was, "akin to magic". Aghast at such presumption, Buddery's anger was palpable. Being mindful of the wall fanciers malevolent powers I feared for poor Phileas and offered to accompany him to the Angel for a diversionary pot of nog. Alack! The young fool declined... I can only surmise that, he had been lured to this wild place and then subjected to the Buddery stare! Egad though, I had determined to perambulate the heath, and was forced to leave him frozen where he stood...

Stood on St James' Hill and looked out across the city for a long while, catching earwards, here a dog's bark, there a snatch of some distant conversation - wind-blown sounds caught up by the mischievous breeze. Distantly, Rooks flew in circles above the castle prison and...

... I can only imagine that, in the midst of my reverie, I must have overbalanced and toppled down the hill. I have no clear recollection of events. I only know that my periwig was lost in the descent and that, having passed at great velocity through thicket and thorn I revived sometime later in a state of utter dishevelment. Indeed, even Mr. Tangle himself would never allow himself to be seen in such a condition!

© Tangle & Hump, Peddlers of the Past

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